Not that what I have to say is by any means a pearl. Or that the people I speak to are swine.
But I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. The things I say seem to be making their rounds out of context and turned into things that are ugly. You see, I have a problem. I am a single mom that works out of town in the critical care unit 7a-7p. When I am not at work I devote all my time to my children, because they are all teenagers now and there isn’t much time left before they go off into the world on their own adventures! And of course, there is the BSN coursework that I have saddled myself with.
So, when I get to work, there are adults there, adults my age! The majority of my co-workers are within 5 years of my age and I am just so thrilled that to be speaking with someone who gets exactly what I mean about life and the things that 48 year old women feel and experience that I always end up telling them everything. Sometimes this backfires and things get twisted; my comments turn into things that make me look bad. And then I go home, stress about work, stress that I am being talked about in a negative way, stress, etc. etc. I actually drive the 30 minutes to work every morning, determined to be the strong, silent type. But I always break that vow, every day.
If only I could keep my mouth shut!
I thought about a bracelet or ring or something I can see to remember: if I must speak, keep it low, professional, and do not share too many personal things. But I cannot abide any jewelry on when I am doing patient care. Just the thought of the last day I worked – I helped someone with the urinal and he filled it to overflowing and pee got all over my wrist – I can’t wear jewelry to remind me!
Maybe some bright sticky notes on my workstation to serve as reminders. They are innocent, those notes. But they speak volumes to me.