So, I am participating in NaNoWriMo. It was actually a slow start, but the novel that has been living in my head is really starting to take off. This is the furthest a compulsive writing project has gone. Those characters in my head, how I love them! My hero, however, is still a grey smudge that hasn’t evolved yet. Who is he? I want him to be so many things: calm, steady, strong, solid, warm, fun, educated, open, chivalrous. Actually, I want him to be all of those things yet, I cannot seem to MAKE him be that. Where are his flaws? Currently, he still exists as a faceless entity in the book. Perhaps he will reveal himself when I bring him into the next chapter. He was at his wife’s funeral when the heroine arrived at his home. His wife died in childbirth, giving birth to twins. He will welcome her into his home as an employee taking care
Criticism
By golly, my ego has taken such a blast from this unseen professor who resides somewhere in this world. I have no idea from where she comes, where she goes, nor have I known any of her writings other than the assignments listed on the college website. I have never gotten such negative feedback on any of my writing – ever. I am 50/50 over this feedback. Half of it is helpful and the other half – does she smoke crack? Push on. Push on. All I could think of tonight as I was driving, was that one day, one day I will be a published author. Hopefully in multiples. And why on earth do I put so much store in what ONE person thinks? Won’t I get plenty of negative feedback in the form of publisher rejections and reader reviews? This is just my baby step.
Perfectionism
Is not a good quality to have as a long-distance learner. I am quite frustrated by the lack of live help when I require it. Therefore, it takes me two weeks to revise a two page paper – it is too hard to say all I need to say in 500 words! If I get dinged on APA format, then it takes me twice as long to make sure my APA references are spot on. If my introductory sentence is too dull, my next introductory sentence must be fantastic! Even so, the APA method is so labyrinth like in its detailed, nonsensical rules that I am sure I have made several mistakes. If I fail this revised attempt, should I stop writing? Or go back to my soul-mate, Joaquin Miller, who wrote this poem: For Those Who Fail by Joaquin Miller “All honor to him, who shall win the fight,”The world has cried for a thousand years,But to him who tries
Something I thought was neat
First off, this is about a death, so if it bothers you, don’t read. As a nurse, I see a lot of death, some peaceful, some horrifying. This is a story about a peaceful one. There was a patient that died recently, a restless soul that was not doing well due to multiple medical issues. That person’s gentle partner decided to change our care in the ICU to “comfort care”, which means we no longer attempt everything we can do to fix the problem (which can be very costly, invasive, and yes, many times cruel). Comfort care is keeping the patient clean, dry, warm, and to the best of our ability, free from pain and anxiety. This latter part is not always achievable, but we do try. This particular patient had had a rough prior week before coming our ICU, and we all did our very best to make things right. The gentle partner voiced appreciation for how considerate we
It takes me too long to write…
…and then I cram it all in in one night, and it is fabulous. Why do I work like this? Unfortunately, I only can create masterpieces like this when I am in school. The novel I am working on just sits there because it has no where to go until I finish it. Actually, my novel, as interested as I am in it. – is stuck. I love time travel romances, but the only ones that work in credibility are the paranormal type. I am not the paranormal type at all. My favorite author is Grace Livingston Hill, a Christian romance author whose works were mainly published in the 1920s and 30s. Now, how can I make this work? I want my heroine to go back into the past into post-revolutionary war America. Why? Because I want to go back into the past into post-revolutionary war America. If I were to do that, what sort of culture shock would I
Facebook life hack
You know how Facebook always shows ads related to the things you have either searched for or spoken about (or sometimes just THINK about?) Well, I have a life hack for you. Imagine this: you open your Facebook app to show your co-workers that naughty thing Sally-Sue did last week, and there in a big ole ad, all big, black and yellow, are suggested products for you depicting the same bedbug killing products that you Googled two days ago? Or maybe you were just looking at something boring like I was: refrigerators. My Facebook feed gave me refrigerators for WEEKS after that. Here is what you do. Pick anything you like that is pretty, nice, comforting. And Google it at least 5-6 times. I like to Google fine art paintings depicting landscapes. Now my Facebook ads are beautiful.
Germophobe at the state fair
This is probably the number one hardest day of the year for me. I am a germophobe and I admit it. Let me tell you all how much I know about you. As a nurse, I see things. Gross things. I see people pick their noses, pick the crud from their nails, and don’t wash their hands after using the restroom. I see the surprised look on people’s faces in the hospital when I hand them a soapy cloth after they use a bedside commode and suggest they wash their hands. 9 times out of 10 they use that cloth to wipe their face instead. I am handed grimy cell phones with thick films over the earpiece and asked to speak with the family member on the other end. I see the underwear that is worn. Ohhhh, don’t get me started on the underwear! Remember how your mama always told you to put on clean underwear before leaving the house?
Pearls before swine
Not that what I have to say is by any means a pearl. Or that the people I speak to are swine. But I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. The things I say seem to be making their rounds out of context and turned into things that are ugly. You see, I have a problem. I am a single mom that works out of town in the critical care unit 7a-7p. When I am not at work I devote all my time to my children, because they are all teenagers now and there isn’t much time left before they go off into the world on their own adventures! And of course, there is the BSN coursework that I have saddled myself with. So, when I get to work, there are adults there, adults my age! The majority of my co-workers are within 5 years of my age and I am just so thrilled that to be speaking
Writing
My ego is quite large I suppose, for I have always fancied myself as a great writer. I haven’t always kept up with it and yet, I find myself returning again and again to the written word. I remember 11th grade Advanced English class all too well. We had a student teacher that year, and she was excited and gung ho over teaching us. We had been analyzing “The Devil and Daniel Webster” by Steven Vincent Benét, and we were to write an essay inspired by this story. I was sheer excited! I had been writing my own little love stories and whatnots in an old notebook, but this, this- unlimited creative outlet wherein I would get some feedback! I couldn’t wait. Home I went, and got to work on my story. Mine was a Christian tale of soul vs. hell, and I was thrilled to share my new faith AND write a fictional tale that interwove the two. I
I reeeeeaaallly don’t want to start another fasting diet.
Maybe it’s time to invest in control top panties and just be me. I just hate to throw out an ENTIRE wardrobe of clothes to accommodate this new weight gain. Since I gained this 25 pounds all in one year I will need to be careful that this is not my new norm – 25 pounds per year. Its been a week of NOT fasting and my weight is holding on to 148 pounds. So perhaps with the limits I created, I can maintain at this level. All that aside, I am still seriously considering the 5:2 plan. As much as I don’t want to do it, I want to test it out and see what happens!
