You know how Facebook always shows ads related to the things you have either searched for or spoken about (or sometimes just THINK about?) Well, I have a life hack for you. Imagine this: you open your Facebook app to show your co-workers that naughty thing Sally-Sue did last week, and there in a big ole ad, all big, black and yellow, are suggested products for you depicting the same bedbug killing products that you Googled two days ago? Or maybe you were just looking at something boring like I was: refrigerators. My Facebook feed gave me refrigerators for WEEKS after that. Here is what you do. Pick anything you like that is pretty, nice, comforting. And Google it at least 5-6 times. I like to Google fine art paintings depicting landscapes. Now my Facebook ads are beautiful.
Germophobe at the state fair
This is probably the number one hardest day of the year for me. I am a germophobe and I admit it. Let me tell you all how much I know about you. As a nurse, I see things. Gross things. I see people pick their noses, pick the crud from their nails, and don’t wash their hands after using the restroom. I see the surprised look on people’s faces in the hospital when I hand them a soapy cloth after they use a bedside commode and suggest they wash their hands. 9 times out of 10 they use that cloth to wipe their face instead. I am handed grimy cell phones with thick films over the earpiece and asked to speak with the family member on the other end. I see the underwear that is worn. Ohhhh, don’t get me started on the underwear! Remember how your mama always told you to put on clean underwear before leaving the house?
Pearls before swine
Not that what I have to say is by any means a pearl. Or that the people I speak to are swine. But I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. The things I say seem to be making their rounds out of context and turned into things that are ugly. You see, I have a problem. I am a single mom that works out of town in the critical care unit 7a-7p. When I am not at work I devote all my time to my children, because they are all teenagers now and there isn’t much time left before they go off into the world on their own adventures! And of course, there is the BSN coursework that I have saddled myself with. So, when I get to work, there are adults there, adults my age! The majority of my co-workers are within 5 years of my age and I am just so thrilled that to be speaking
Writing
My ego is quite large I suppose, for I have always fancied myself as a great writer. I haven’t always kept up with it and yet, I find myself returning again and again to the written word. I remember 11th grade Advanced English class all too well. We had a student teacher that year, and she was excited and gung ho over teaching us. We had been analyzing “The Devil and Daniel Webster” by Steven Vincent Benét, and we were to write an essay inspired by this story. I was sheer excited! I had been writing my own little love stories and whatnots in an old notebook, but this, this- unlimited creative outlet wherein I would get some feedback! I couldn’t wait. Home I went, and got to work on my story. Mine was a Christian tale of soul vs. hell, and I was thrilled to share my new faith AND write a fictional tale that interwove the two. I
I reeeeeaaallly don’t want to start another fasting diet.
Maybe it’s time to invest in control top panties and just be me. I just hate to throw out an ENTIRE wardrobe of clothes to accommodate this new weight gain. Since I gained this 25 pounds all in one year I will need to be careful that this is not my new norm – 25 pounds per year. Its been a week of NOT fasting and my weight is holding on to 148 pounds. So perhaps with the limits I created, I can maintain at this level. All that aside, I am still seriously considering the 5:2 plan. As much as I don’t want to do it, I want to test it out and see what happens!
Limbo-fasting state
148 pounds this morning in case anyone cares. I think as long as I get rid of the muffin-top I won’t care what the actual weight is. I am no longer following the 16:8 intermittent fasting plan. I am still loosely following the 16:8 plan – I am cutting off all eating and calorie-laden drinking at 9 PM every night. However, I actually have purchased a bunch of lettuce, cauliflower, 15 cal/serving of Italian dressing, and stevia. I am getting ready to do the 5:2 plan! For those who don’t know what the 5:2 plan is, it is eating normally 5 days a week and only eating 500 calories 2 days a week. Now, I have carefully measured out my morning coffee and it is 150 calories. If I change the sugar to stevia 2 days a week, it will only be 80 calories per cup. A small head of iceberg lettuce is only 45 calories. mmmmm lettuce. Well, with
150.5 pounds. WHAT THE ACTUAL …
Through absolutely no cheating, messing up, overeating, NOTHING, my weight is now back to 150.5 pounds. Only one pound lighter than my start weight one month ago. I QUIT. How come all these intermittent fasters are posting such amazing results? Is this the “bloated stomach” that is spoken of? If so, then why after a MONTH of fasting? I HAD A CUP OF REAL COFFEE THIS MORNING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT And guess what? I had a FANTASTIC day. So much energy and happiness. And yes, I was at work today! So, I will rethink this plan. Maybe the 5:2 intermittent plan. A small head of lettuce is only 45 calories…….
Still holding on to 147 pounds
I am going to switch to the 5:2 plan. At least that way I will get to drink some &^%$ coffee with cream and sugar in the mornings!!! Just to note, a lot of websites with intermittent weight loss bloggers are also doing major amounts of exercise with their diet. I wish for my readers to understand that I am still my lazy self, sitting in my recliner. Now to say that I am a couch potato is not exactly true – I do work 3-4 days a week, 12 hours shifts in a hospital as a nurse. I do a lot of walking all day long. I DO plan on getting back into running when my ankle that I injured in July finally heals. I am still wearing a brace. Probably should get that looked at…..
Day 22
Back to 147 pounds. Today is my son’s birthday, and my only day off this week. I am having a precious cup of coffee for breakfast – so, today, I broke my fast. I will resume tomorrow. I was hoping that once I got 5 pounds off that I would start to see an improvement on how my clothes fit, but they are still all muffin-top pants and shorts. I don’t even want to mention how I should not be wearing the little stretchy bralettes I have worn for the past several years. The 25 pounds I gained over the past year and a half has given me a little bit of VA-VA-VA-VOOM! As nice as they are, I really hope to go back to my braless in winter capability.
Day 21
I made it to 145.5! It’s making me feel so good to see that on the scale this morning. Of course, pessimism has set in and I don’t expect it to stick.
